Reaching For You
by M M Forever
Summary: What if Chihiro grew old waiting for Haku, who apparently never showed up? What if Haku did find a way to the human world and arrived too late? This is both a continuation of my earlier publication of "Waiting for you" and a stand-alone story that gives so many of us the ending we've always wanted for them. Please read and review!


Reaching for You-

After years of waiting, both Chihiro and you, my lovely readers, will be able to enjoy what you've all wished for in your hearts. I hope you all enjoy this piece. It can either stand alone, or be a continuation of my previous Spirited Away story, 'Waiting for You,' that I wrote many years ago. Almost every person who reviewed that story said they were moved to tears, and I can only say I hope that this piece moves you just as much, though I sincerely hope any tears you shed be tears not of sorrow, but of joy.

My apologies to you all on this being uploaded a day late. My co-workers insisted on taking me out after work last night to celebrate my early birthday so I didn't get home until midnight. Add to all that, today my work suddenly decided to call me in early, hold me late, and block this site, so I couldn't load this on my half hour break. It's now almost 11 and I'm sitting outside a 24 hour restaurant, bumming wifi to get this loaded. So please consider this my Hobbit Birthday gift to you all.

Oh. And I bow to the greatness that is Studio Ghibli. I own nothing that they do, nor will I ever be able to, including almost every character in this story. I just paid for a wedding and replaced tons of stuff on my car, so I'm poor as heck.

And with that, let us begin.

* * *

An elderly Chihiro bid farewell to her best friend Yamato as he left her little apartment. So many memories had been shared over tea and dinner that day, memories that threatened to overwhelm her as the conversation points flooded back to her. After so many years, she had finally come clean about her childhood friend and her visit to the Spirit World when she'd first moved to the area. She felt like she owed it to him, considering how much he cared and had had done for her since she'd first come to work for him out of college. He'd asked her to marry him several decades ago, after all. She'd politely declined, to the complete and utter horror of her parents. But thankfully both her mother and father had managed to forgive her before their passing nearly 20 years ago.

Turning back to the kitchen to clean up the remnants of their sparse meal, she found herself reflecting on whether she regretted telling him the truth behind her rejection all those years ago and found her doubts lacking in substance. He'd been understanding and respectful throughout the entire evening, obviously eager to finally understand her feelings.

It had started out with a phone call to him to meet her at the bridge that spanned the new Kohaku River, a river the two of them had spent months recreating. It seemed as good a place as any to tell him about why she'd really wanted to recreate the river, and why it was so vital that it be named the Kohaku River. The two had stood there for nearly two hours as Chihiro told him the entire tale, from how her parents had been turned into pigs to how she'd managed to defeat Yubaba's schemes and earned back her parents and their freedom. Yamato's occasional questions were not accusatory in nature, and she found herself surprised to see just how much of what she said he accepted as blanket truth.

From there, his questions became more personal, but still respectful. When had she decided to wait for him, no matter what happened to her here? Did she regret her decision now that so much of her life had been spent waiting for someone who she might never see again? Her eyes had twinkled with that mischievous glint in response and somehow they both knew that she would never stop searching for a way to be with him.

Suddenly feeling faint, she piled the dishes into the dishwasher and pressed start. Usually she preferred to wash them by hand, enjoying the feel of the water running over her hands, but she just didn't feel up to it tonight. Something inside her told her that something was going to happen tonight, something she'd need to save her strength for. She secretly hoped it meant Kohaku would show up tonight as an early birthday present, but she'd learned from nearly 60 years of disappointment to temper her hope with knowledge that if Kohaku wouldn't come to her, no matter what she did, she would likely have to go looking for him.

Deciding to turn in for the night, Chihiro slowly walked to her bedroom, her left hand on the wall to keep her steady until she reached her destination. The room she slept in was small and simplistic, but something about that made it even more comfortable. Perhaps because it reminded her of the days she worked in the Bathhouse. The furniture was sparse, with only a dresser, bed, and bookshelf inside. Her bed was nestled in the far corner by a large window, allowing her a view of the bridge spanning that crucial river as she glanced out from the safety of her warm sheets, something she had grown to really appreciate in the past few years. Her body seemed so frail lately, but she supposed that came with age.

Loathe as she was to admit it, she wasn't a young girl anymore, and somewhere in the back of her head, she wondered if her beloved Haku would even recognize her when he saw her. Spirits aged so slowly it seemed often they simply did not age at all. Human lives must seem like no more than a brief hiccup in time compared to their own. All she could do was cling to the hope that when she died, she might use that river outside her river to find her way back to the Spirit World. That's why she had begged her friend Yamato that night after dinner until he'd finally promised that she would be buried alongside the river they'd both worked so hard to create when her time came. He'd shaken his head and insisted she would outlive him, but the doubt in his eyes spoke volumes.

Shaking the thought from her head, Chihiro moved to her dresser to pull out a fresh nightshirt. As she rummaged through the top drawer for a particularly warm one, a splash of faded green and white shirt caught her eye. Pulling out the small shirt, the emotions of all the years came crashing down on her, she raised it to her face and sniffed, hoping to catch a lingering whiff of Yubaba's bathhouse in the Spirit World. There was none.

Tears began for the first time that day in her eyes, tears that felt like they'd been building for almost 60 years. All that remained to remind her of her past now was this shirt and the fading memories of a stubborn old woman, everything else having been lost to time and the wear of the world. Chihiro settled onto her bed and sobbed into that shirt, wishing with all her heart that she could once again walk in that world. What she wouldn't give to see Haku, Lin and Bo again, and even… she chuckled to herself through her abating tears, realizing that a part of her even missed Yubaba.

She crawled into bed, not even caring that she hadn't changed out of her clothes. The sadness she'd managed to keep at bay for so long had finally caught up to her, overwhelming her. Shaking beneath the heavy comforter, she brought the edge up to her nose and let out a very heavy sigh. Today had been a very truthful day, from telling Yamato all about her adventures to admitting why she'd wanted to rebuild the river. And if she was completely honest with herself, a part of her did wonder how different her life would have been if she'd just let her feelings for Haku go. Would she have gone to college for the same degree? Would she have met all her friends from work? Would she have married Yamato? Would she have had kids? What about grandkids? Would she be happy? Was she happy with how her life was now? At some point, she drifted off to sleep, vaguely wondering if she'd made the right choice in waiting for him to keep his promise of meeting again.

The dream Chihiro had that night was unlike any dream she had ever had before. She found herself in the darkness of night at the edge of a vast body of water, the waves lapping at her feet. She looked down at her reflection and was mildly surprised to see a much younger her looking back at her from the water, despite the fact that she was wearing the same clothes she'd worn to bed. If she had to guess, she was somewhere in her late twenties to early thirties. The water reflected only starlight, as the moon had yet to appear in the sky.

Looking around, she saw an oddity in the water that made her pause. Less than a hundred feet away from her was a glowing, murky light moving around at the surface. She walked out into the water towards it, intrigued. The water was chilly, but tolerable. As she approached, the object of light grew clearer and formed a swimming koi. The koi was pure white, except for several reddish-orange splotches on its top. Astonished, she recalled those markings to be the same as on a koi she'd seen before. It was exactly that same koi, she was certain, that she had talked Yamato into adding at a revitalized pond for one of the local temples nearly 25 years ago. She'd specifically picked it out after talking with a shop owner, who had explained how each pattern on a fish had a different name.

"Kohaku…" she whispered, reaching out to touch the gleaming fish with her right hand. Startled by her sudden movement, the fish darted away. With a cry of dismay, she willed herself to chase after it, suddenly feeling that if it escaped her sight, something very important would be lost. Diving into the water, she began to swim after the koi, determined to not be left behind. It was said that a dream about Koi denoted a need to put aside her ego and not let it get in the way of friendships and relationshipsi. After what seemed like an eternity, Chihiro noticed something up ahead. A wall, nearly 30 feet tall, loomed in the distance. It was an imposing red color, with occasional peaks along its top. Something about this wall made her heart beat faster in her chest. It looked vaguely familiar, almost as if it were a part of the one she saw as a child that surrounded the abandoned grounds that led to the Spirit World.

It appeared that the koi was swimming towards that wall with increased vigor, and she began to think she'd never catch up to it at all. It swam past a lone stone standing in the water about 25 feet from the wall, surging ahead, and she wondered if there was a hidden entranceway she couldn't see. Sure enough, the light of the koi seemed to disappear into the wall just as she reached the submerged stone. Panting at this point, she clutched the stone for support as she caught her breath.

The stone abruptly shifted beneath her grip, startling her, and she kicked away from it in panic. What probably alarmed her more, though, was the tall stone figure ii that rose from the water to glare at her. Pencil thin, it wore a pointed hat folded in the middle and formal court garments, and even carried an oogi. In some ways, like the clothing style and the fan, it was eerily similar to the one that her parents had nearly hit with their car on that fateful day, despite the obvious height and girth differences between them… though this one was anything but happy looking.

"Who are you, unknown spirit?! What do you want?!" it bellowed, looking at her as she jolted in surprise.

"Umm… spirit?" she started hesitantly, wiping the wet hair away from her eyes as she spoke. "I… uh… followed the koi here and…"

The stone figure suddenly sniffed. "Wait. Do you smell that?" Chihiro visibly stiffened, knowing exactly what was about to happen. Why did everyone in the Spirit World insist that humans smelled bad? "That smell… it stinks like a human!"

She shrugged, the water sloshing away from her shoulders. "Well, I'm a human, so that's probably why, but I really don't see why you insist I stink."

"So you are a human spirit then!" The stone figure frowned. "Go away! I don't know how you got here, but you do not belong here!"

Chihiro rarely got angry anymore, but this time her frustration would not be silenced. Gone were those timid days where she would be pushed around easily. Those had been left in the Spirit World the last time she had been here, and now that she was certain of what lay beyond that wall, she would do anything to reach the other side. She knew that what she wanted most resided there, and she was not going to take no for an answer. Not when she was this close to her most heartfelt wish. Eyeing the fan, she gathered her courage.

"I want to cross the wall!" she bellowed, startling the statue in return.

"C-cross the wall?!" the stone stature sputtered. "Unthinkable! Humans don't belong here! Why would I let a human in here?"

"I want to cross the wall!" she said again, this time trying to swim around him. The longer she wasted here, the more certain she was that she'd lost the koi. The figure wasn't having any of it, and grabbed her as she passed.

"Let me go!" she cried, struggling to escape his grasp. "I need to get back to the Spirit World!" The statue dropped her in surprise and she plunged into the water again. She came back up quickly, sputtering. Her shoulder-length hair in her eyes once more, she offhandedly wondered why she didn't bring a hairband to put it up and out of the way.

"Go… back… to the Spirit World?" the statue asked hesitantly, peering down at her in curiosity. When she nodded he removed his hat, slicked his hair back with his left hand, and put it back again. Normally Chihiro would have found the movement of stone in such a way to be odd, but she was confident that this was the edge of the Spirit World, and things never behaved as she was used to there. It seemed like it was hesitating on what to do, and she was ready for its follow-up question of "When were you there before?"

Encouraged, she quickly launched into the tale for the second time that day, this time leaving no details and names out like she had with Yamato, who she'd figured would have simply been overwhelmed by all of the names and things for which he had no reference. The statue stood there silently as she ran through the entire adventure, simply listening and occasionally nodding, as if what she was saying made perfect sense to him.

"…and then when I left, Haku promised me we'd meet again. And… we didn't see each other again, so… I want to go back to find out… why he… never came to meet me," she ended somewhat weakly. Was that really the only reason why she wanted to go back to the Spirit World? Didn't she also want to see everyone again? Find out what had changed in the Bathhouse now that Yubaba's iron grip had slipped in letting her out of her contract?

The statue frowned in thought, and Chihiro wondered if it didn't believe her story after all. But as she waited, treading water, the moon slowly rose in the sky to the west of her and she began to look at the stone figure in front of her. She was certain that she had seen this statue before in Japan, though it had looked different then, so she was unable to place exactly where. However, the oogi faniii in his hand made her hopeful that she'd finally see the Spirit World. After what seemed like forever, the statue finally spoke.

"I see…" it paused, looking at her again. "I shall name my terms if you still desire to continue to see the Spirit World. If you agree, I will grant your wish."

"Yes! I accept your terms! Please let me pass!"

"Wait a moment. Do not be so hasty in your decision," the statue chided, looking down at her with a deepening frown. "You may pass and continue into the Spirit World to meet your friend, but you will never again be able to return to the human world. If you pass this way, your body will cease to function and your spirit will be unable to return. You will be unable to rest in eternal slumber like the rest of your kind. You will remain how you see yourself now, and your spirit will age very slowly, like the spirits you met before. But unlike them, you will have no final peace. You will feel pain, but you will be unable to die through normal means. Your existence will no longer be fleeting, but will stretch on until the end of time. Do you understand and accept my terms? Choose wisely, for there will be no more chances to turn back and return to your old life."

Chihiro paused. She'd been so convinced this was a dream, but for the first time that night, she hesitated. If it wasn't a dream, she would die if she went any farther. Well, she'd die physically and her spirit would be free of its earthly confines. Did she really have anything back home to live for? Yes, she'd made friends with Yamato and many others, but if she had to admit it to herself, she wasn't overly close to any of them. She'd lived a decent life, having done her best to be happy, but nothing had been the same since she left the Spirit World. She knew that's where her happiness really was, and she was going to pursue that happiness until she found it, be it with Zeniba at Swamp Bottom or with Lin and Kamaji at the Bathhouse or wherever Haku was residing these days. But if she stopped here, would she be able to find her way back to the Spirit World some other way? Would she live long enough to find it? And would she rather go back to Haku and the others looking as she did now or as an older woman who struggled to walk at times and whose health could begin to fail her any day now?

Would she really be able to be at peace when she died if she turned away now?

"I accept your terms."

The statue nodded and raised the fan and swished it between them in an arc before bringing it down in a quick snap. Chihiro suddenly felt lighter, though whether that was because she knew she was free to look for Haku now or because she felt herself no longer grounded in the world of the humans, she wasn't sure. The statue reached into a pocket and pulled out a small red berry. She briefly marveled at the fact that a stone statue had both pocketed a berry in the first place and secondly that it had not been turned into mush. Gesturing for her to take it from him, she tenderly picked it up and moved it to her mouth, remembering how she'd need to eat Spirit World food to keep from disappearing. She swallowed it, bowed her head in thanks to the statue, and then swam off in the direction she'd seen the fish travel before it disappeared. The wall didn't seem to have an opening until she was almost upon it. The path was small and narrow, and the water lapped at the very top, which meant she would need to hold her breath as she passed through it until she reached the other side. She slowed, looking at the opening carefully, trying to gauge just how deep it ran.

'Well, there's no going back now,' she thought with determination. Taking a deep breath, she dove beneath the surface and plunged ahead.

Her ability to see only lasted a few moments before the light from the opening faded into darkness. She tried to remember just how long the tunnel through the wall had been for her the last time, but since she'd been a child, she knew her reference point would be skewed. She figured it would be about the length of a swimming pool at least, but she'd been able to swim a length and a half in one breath when she'd been in her twenties, so she should be fine. A random song from that one American fish movie she'd seen as a teenager popped in her head as she swam and she smirked at how fitting it was at the moment. On and on she swam, pushing ahead as determined as she could be… until a little voice in her head pointed out that logically she should be seeing at least some light from the other side of the wall by now.

Fighting down the rising panic that thought brought, she kept swimming forward until her lungs began to burn for air. Just a bit more, she kept telling herself with every stroke. Just a bit further and she'd be able to see the other side. Within moments everything in her was screaming for oxygen, but she knew she couldn't breathe water like a fish. She had no choice to keep going, and so as her muscles tightened from lactic acid buildup and the pressure in her mouth to just exhale built up, she pushed herself forward.

Just when she felt she could no longer go any farther, the darkness around her began to recede. Rising towards the surface, one arm up in front of her to prevent her from crashing into the ceiling with her head, she let a bubble of air escape her mouth to release some of the pressure in her lungs. Her hand breaking the surface seconds later, relief flushed through her as her head followed a few moments. She stayed in place for several minutes, gasping for breath and thanking her lucky stars that her journey had not ended before it began. Though as her heartbeat calmed down in her chest, she began to wonder if she really could die or if she'd understood the guardian statue wrong. Well, only time would tell, and she certainly wasn't willing to test that before she accomplished her goals.

Once she was composed and grounded, Chihiro looked around and took in her surroundings. The water and wall was bathed in moonlight, both of which extended on as far as her eyes could see in all directions. No clues on which way she would need to go, and nothing to give her bearing amidst the monotonous surroundings. She sighed, wishing that something would give her a hint on where she would need to go to find her friends.

A sudden flash of white in the corner of her eye had her snapping her head to the left, wondering what had caused the distraction. Her eyes widened as the object moved towards her, swimming up to nudge her leg. She'd been so sure that she'd never see it again, having lost it as it passed the wall so much earlier than her. Yet here it was, as if it had been waiting here the whole time for her.

"Hello there," she said to the Koi fish that kept swimming circles around her. "I don't suppose you know how to get to the bathhouse or Swamp Bottom?"

In response, the colorful carp swam under her arm and paused. Hesitantly she grabbed hold of it, carefully avoiding the fins, and suddenly she felt herself being slowly pulled along. She started to feel giddy, knowing that at some point in the near future, she would be reunited with her friends at last.

* * *

Haku watched as the man he'd only met earlier that morning crossed the bridge over his river and made his way back up towards the apartments and something he had called his car, a term he was unfamiliar with but assumed it was something like the train outside the bathhouse that wasn't bound by tracks. He'd seen those things before, a long time ago, but he felt so disconnected from the human world. Everything seemed so different… and crowded. The extended exposure to all of the noise had grated on his nerves, but he'd born it all for the sake of Chihiro, still struggling with his grief of having lost the person he'd hoped to see. Sensing this, Yamato had spent the past several hours with him. By the end of their time together, they'd been sitting on the grass beside Chihiro's grave, Yamato telling him various stories about his life with their mutual friend, though Haku felt ashamed to still call her such. How had he been so stupid to assume that she would be the one to fall into his life for a third time? Hadn't it been his fault for not coming after her, even after his dreams during the past month had been plagued with being unable to save her from various misfortunes? It had taken the sharp, shaming tongue of Lin to finally spur him into action, and if she hadn't taunted him into trying to find her back in the human world, he would never have gotten the answers he'd gotten today. Not that those made him feel any better about himself.

Walking out onto the small wooden bridge that spanned his river, he unknowingly took up the exact same position Chihiro usually had, leaning gently on the railing and looking at the headwater in wait. What he was waiting for, he wasn't sure. Maybe it was some level of solace, or something that made his guilty heart ache just a little less. In either case, he stayed there until it was dark, staring out over the water and wondering what his next move should be. He knew at some point he would need to return to the bathhouse and inform Yubaba that he was quitting his position. It was not something he looked forward to doing, since he suspected his resigning would not go over as easily as Chihiro's escape. Even if she no longer owned his name, she had fed and kept him on as a worker, promoting him to General Overseer, a position many envied him for. But now that Chihiro was gone, did he really wish to stay somewhere that would forever remind him of her? Or would he rather remain here with her, confined to a river that was surrounded by a busy, crowded human world until they changed their minds and filled his river in yet again, this time taking him with it?

His gut told him he deserved nothing more than the latter for his cowardly behavior, and his heart and head both were inclined to go along with the self-imposed punishment after learning just what she had done to make it easier for him to reach her. But something deep inside him held him back. Was it his apprehensive heart, which feared his own end or that lingering thought that Yamato had believed that even in death, Chihiro would seek him out? He would need to think about this before he made any rash decisions, but he certainly didn't think he deserved such a wonderful new place to live after what he'd put her through.

Sighing, he visually drank in every detail of his new home before closing his eyes and returning to the edge of the grassy fields outside the bathhouse. While part of him was surprised by the lack of water and boat that announced the arrival of guests for the night, the sun bright in a midday sky, his rational mind told him that if what he thought was so little time here had equaled 60 years in the human world, it would stand to reason that he'd been gone for at least one day, maybe two.

"DRAGON BOY!"

Flinching, he turned towards the voice, knowing he was probably going to hear it from Lin for not only disappearing before work started but also reappearing without Chihiro in tow. Sure enough, a very cross woman was headed his way, a heavy frown on her face. Haku briefly debated about lying to her and not telling her that Chihiro had died, but he would not dishonor his friends like that by shying away from uncomfortable thoughts and feelings. Not anymore. Besides, as much as he had bemoaned her loss these past few decades, Lin probably had missed spending time with her more, though he doubted she would ever admit that to anyone.

Trying to keep his face calm and stoic in facing the coming storm, he remained rooted in his spot, knowing that what he was about to reveal to her was likely going to create a personal hell for the foreseeable future. But before he could do more than open his mouth, she launched into her tirade.

"Where have you been?! You've been gone two days and this is how you come back, slinking and sulking on the edge of the barrier between us and the humans?! Did you even try to find her or did you just stay here like a coward?!"

He thought he'd had spent all his tears earlier that day, but as the hot prickly feeling invaded his eyes, he knew that he'd just begun to mourn.

"I-" he started, his voice caught in his throat. He had to clear it twice before he trusted it to actually come out. "I found her… but she…" he faltered, the tears starting to fall silently down his face.

"She what, you stupid dragon," Lin roared, her fists grasping his kimono, her eyes angry with rage, and Haku realized with her next words that she must have guessed what had happened. "How many years too late were you?!"

"I- I don't know… at least a few weeks."

"ONLY A FEW WEEKS?!" she raged, her normally pale face turning redder by the second.

"The grass where they buried her wasn't very thick, so it couldn't have been more than that," he choked out.

"You idiot! You should have gone earlier and stopped the wedd-" her eyes suddenly grew wide and she stopped mid-thought. "Wait… what did you say?"

"Lin… she… she's gone. She died."

"No," she whispered. "I don't believe you."

Haku wrapped his long arms around her, attempting to comfort her. "I'm sorry… I saw the gravestone with her name on it… Lin, I… it was in the shape of the clock tower… and it even had a white dragon on it…" Unable to keep her composure any longer, she dissolved into tears, her hands gripping his kimono as both of their tears fell. The two of them stood there for a very long time, searching for comfort together in a world they had just had turned upside-down.

"Umm… Lin? Master Haku?"

Both of them turned at the sudden small voice calling for them, a voice that neither of them had expected to hear. Seeing Aogaeru looking up at them, they broke apart, embarrassed at being caught up in their emotions in front of each other. Clearing his throat, Haku moved forward to meet the frog who hopped towards them.

"Yes Aogaeru? What is it?"

"Yubaba sent me to fetch you as soon as you were to be found. She says that she has pressing matters to discuss with you, things that cannot wait. I'm sure she has wondered where you went these past few days."

"I understand. I'll go to her at once." Haku gave Lin a quick glance, one that passed on his regret for being unable to stay with her to mourn their friend properly. "I'll seek you out later to continue our discussion, if you'd like." Lin paused a moment before nodding, almost to herself. Then she turned around to face the sea of green blowing in the wind, a blank look in her eyes. She obviously needed some time to herself to grieve, and Haku couldn't blame her one bit. After all, it was what he wanted to do at that moment. But Yubaba was not someone easily ignored without consequence, and frankly, he didn't need any more angst in his life today.

Following the frog spirit back through the various food shops surrounding the bathhouse, he tried to focus on what Yubaba might want to discuss with him. To his knowledge, there had been nothing overly pressing before his visit to the human world, so for something to have happened meant something either very big had happened or it was a small matter she was making into something very big. Honestly, given her track record, his money was on the latter.

Entering the bathhouse, he made his way alone to the elevator, Aogaeru leaving him at the front gate to get ready for his evening shift as greeter. As he neared the elevators that reached Yubaba's office, one of the lift doors opened. Haku was surprised to see Chichiyaku disembarking, obviously pleased with something. Wondering what had happened, he hurried to greet him.

"Oh! Master Haku!" Chichiyaku purred to his immediate superior, which was a sound that Haku hadn't expected the frogman to be capable of producing. "Yubaba was just looking for you. We are expecting a full house tonight, and we will need every available hand ready and every tub ready to be turned over quickly. Rumor has it that a great Koi spirit was spotted in the waters last night, and Yubaba is convinced this will bring the bathhouse much prosperity in the coming days. So of course, she's all up in arms making sure that everything is run smoothly tonight. You know how she gets when there's money to be made. And she's promised a good bonus to the crew that waits on the Koi Spirit if he chooses to visit." Chichiyaku's eyes glistened at the thought of a reward for his hard work, and Haku sincerely wished it for him.

Thanking him for the warning, Haku walked into the lift, pressed the floor for Yubaba's office, and watching the doors close in front of him.

'Ah,' Haku thought to himself as he traveled up the lift towards her office. 'Just as I suspected, that appearance of the Koi Spirit has sent her into a money-making frenzy. I'm sure she's going to discuss how to best make the next few days more profitable.' It was always about the money with Yubaba, and for once, he welcomed the distraction from his thoughts. He found himself actually looking forward to throwing himself into his work so he wouldn't have to think about the ache in his heart. Or at least, not deal with the depression that threatened him in random waves right away.

The lift slowed to a halt and the doors opened. Haku took a deep breath and walked out, turning left towards her office. He'd lost track of how many times he'd traveled this path since he first came to work for Yubaba, his feet automatically walking the 26 steps it took to reach the door. Raising his hand to knock, he was not surprised at all when the door sprung open before he could even touch the door, an old familiar voice calling out to him.

"So you've finally decided to make an appearance. I take it that this means I'll actually have a supervising manager on the floor tonight in case anything goes wrong?" Haku kept his face passive, refusing to let her goad him into responding inappropriately. A heavy sigh followed before she called out, "Well, you might as well come in and we can discuss our plans for tonight. I was thinking we should…"

* * *

Lin wandered around the rest of the afternoon in a daze, so much so that she wondered how she hadn't tripped over something or gotten herself into trouble with Chichiyaku. She may now have seniority over most of the Yuna in the bathhouse, but that also meant that she was somehow responsible for their actions. It was a double-edged sword, one that didn't usually bother her. But today, she wanted none of the responsibility. All she wanted was to curl up in a ball and cry until she fell asleep, something that was so out of character for her that she wondered if it wasn't all just a bad dream that she'd wake up from. But as she went about her evening duties, she caught the dubious glances at her red, puffy eyes and her overly pale features and she knew that as much as she might wish this day had been a dream, it was sadly real.

Carrying a steaming bowl of Newt Stew down to Kamaji and a basket of food for the soot sprites, she stepped off the lift and pulled back the panel to enter the boiler room. Kamaji was surprised at the smell of his favorite soup and immediately suspected something was wrong. Lin only seemed to bring it when she needed something or had something unpleasant to tell him.

"Is that Newt Stew I smell, Lin?" he asked. "To what do I owe the pleasure?"

"Hmm?" she responded, confused at first by his words. Then, as the realization of what he was—and wasn't—saying, she muttered, "Oh. Nothing. Nothing, really… just felt like making it is all."

Peering down at her from his lofty perch, he scratched the back of his head with one hand while adjusting his glasses with another. "Now Lin, I may be getting old, but I'm not blind yet. And it doesn't take a genius to see you're upset about something. You can talk to me if you want."

Lin chose to ignore his statement and instead set about feeding the sprites that had left their coal pieces at the sight of food. Their excited little cheers as they devoured the star-shaped treats echoed in the small room, but not even their cheerfulness seemed to affect Lin. A drop of water fell next to one of the sprites and it squeaked in surprise as another fell moments later, nearly splashing it. Terrified for safety, it pushed through the others and disappeared back into the holes where they rested. A sudden hush grew over the rest of them, causing Kamaji to set down his soup and turn towards Lin again, who was furiously brushing away tears.

"My dear, what's wrong? This is so unlike you."

Lin swallowed, trying to calm herself and still the waterworks. He was absolutely right. This was so unlike her she didn't know what to do. The few times she cried in her life, she'd always made sure that no one else was around. This time, however, her body seemed to be unable to wait until she'd found her usual solitude looking at the night sky. It took a few moments until she was calm enough to trust her voice.

"Haku found Chihiro. She… she's not coming back."Kamaji waited for her to continue, knowing that interrupting her with questions would only make her angry. A deep breath of air, and she finished her reveal to the boiler man. "She died, Kamaji." Looking up at him, the anger he knew so well was coming flashed in her eyes. "How could he? How could Haku have been so stupid? I should have left here and tried to bring her back myself! At least I would have tried to bring her back here years ago, but what did he do? He sat around and felt sorry for himself because he'd lost her! He wasn't the only one hurting, the only one who missed her! But no… the only one whose feelings mattered was those of that blasted dragon! It's not fair, Kamaji! It's not fair!"

Kamaji silently watched her face as she ranted. When he was quite sure she was done yelling out all her anger at Haku, he took a sip of water from his kettle before speaking.

"You like him, don't you."

If she'd expecting any response, this sudden further punch to the emotional gut wasn't one of them. She opened her mouth to retort, to claim that she couldn't stand the irresponsible young man, but she just couldn't do it. Closing her mouth again, she pondered what that meant. Did she really like Haku that way? Or was it more of a brotherly companionship concern because the two of them had been working together to make subtle changes to the bathhouse right under Yubaba's abnormally large nose? Remembering all of the times the two of them had fought, had worked together, and generally just been around each other the past decade or so, she realized that while she now respected him and trusted him in a way that she hadn't before thanks to Chihiro, she had no desire to spend the rest of her life pandering to the childish whims of someone who had eyes for someone else. Even if Chihiro was gone now, it would feel too much like betrayal to see if those feelings she had could change into something more romantic.

"Not that way. And to be honest, I think I'm happier being single. I don't want to be tied down to anyone or anything anymore than I already am by working here. Besides," she chuckled, brushing the remaining tears from her eyes. "I'd probably want to strangle him if I had to spend more time with him."

"Very true," Kamaji responded, returning to his soup. After a long sip, he added, "And I still think Chihiro and Haku will end up together."

Lin, who was reaching down for the remnants of the previous meal, did a double-take. "But she's dead, Kamaji! Dead! As in, no longer alive! Are you saying Haku's so desperate to be with Chihiro he'd be okay sleeping with a-"

"No!" he cut her off. "But I believe that nothing will ever keep them apart. You remember what Chihiro was willing to do to keep him alive, don't you? And since Haku was able to return to the human world, it obviously meant that someone recreated his river. If she was that determined, do you honestly think that death will keep her from finding a way back to him?"

Lin considered his words and came to the same result. If Chihiro still thought of him enough to put a dragon on her gravestone, the message she was sending to both worlds was loud and clear: I'm going to find you, Haku. Even if I have to die to do it, I'm going to find you.

* * *

Later that night, Haku was pacing around the entranceway to the bathhouse, his heart restless. No matter how much he'd gone out of his way to keep busy, nothing had kept his mind off of the gravestone next to his river. His wavering attention to whatever was in front of him had been painfully honest to both himself and those around him. Chichiyaku had to explain Yubaba's plan to increase the price by the use of multiple bath tokens in a single bath three times to him, something that normally would have taken just once. Shaking his head, he went to stand beside Aogaeru, who was greeting their guests as they came to bathe.

"Are you alright, Master Haku? You seem distracted tonight."

"I… I'm fine. Just worry about the guests. Yubaba will be furious if we don't turn a substantial profit tonight."

"Yes, Master Haku."

Moving from the entrance to observe the inner workings of the staff from a balcony, Haku stood there for a good hour, watching everyone who came in be directed to various tubs and washed before a commotion at the entranceway caught his attention. He supposed he should check it out and make sure it was handled correctly, even if his heart wasn't in it. With a heavy sigh he left his self-assigned post and retraced his steps towards the front of the house. A voice louder than the rest, a voice he recognized as Lin, caught his attention and he quickened his pace to almost a run. If Lin was yelling, this could not be good.

"What do you mean you came here for a bath?" Lin yelled, her voice carrying from down the hall. At this point, Haku began to run, dodging customers and workers alike. "What the hell are you thinking? Do you really think Yubaba would ever let you bathe here?! Hell, do you even have the money to pay for a bath?!"

"Well, I didn't think anyone would let me in if I didn't get one. Zeniba gave me some gold just in case I needed it when I visited her and No-Face when I stopped in Swamp Bottom."

That voice. Haku stopped dead in his tracks, nearly running into the Radish Spirit who had just turned the corner that led to the entranceway. He knew that voice. It was impossible. But all the confirmation he needed came in Lin's next sentence.

"I'm so glad you're back, Chihiro. You've aged well, kid. I missed you."

Taking a shaky few steps, he rounded the turn and stopped again. In front of him stood a younger version of the woman whose grave he'd stood before just that morning, enveloped in a warm hug from Lin.

"Chihiro…"

Looking up in surprise, both women turned to see Haku standing before them, one hand on the wall for support, as if he didn't trust his knees to not give out. Lin snorted.

"Well, we're pretty busy, so I'm gonna go see what Chichiyaku's up to. I trust it that you won't lose her if I leave her with you, Haku?"

"No. I don't plan on letting her out of my sight for a very, very long time," he responded, causing Chihiro to blush. Lin nodded and left, leaving the two of them to stand awkwardly as a stream of customers continued to come in. Neither of them knew what to say, both of them glancing shyly at each other. It took a pointed look from Aogaeru before Haku realized that they were holding up traffic and to take this reunion somewhere else.

"Follow me," he said softly, holding out his hand to gesture towards the inner bathhouse. As soon as she was moving towards him, he turned and led her to a private room where they could talk. It wasn't very large, but it had a low table and several comfortable cushions where they could recline side by side. As soon as she was seated, he settled next to her and began to speak.

"I am so sorry, Chihiro. I don't deserve you." Chihiro looked up at him in confusion. She'd imagined what he'd say to her many times over the years, but for some reason, this hadn't been what she'd expected at all. "I made you come to me every time, and it wasn't until I realized this and came for you, only to be told you had died that I realized just how foolish I'd been. I've loved you all this time, but I don't deserve the love you've held for me all these years, and I am truly sorry for everything I've put you through."

She watched as the one person she'd loved with all her heart lowered his head in regret, shame written all over his face.

"I know," she whispered softly, and he flinched. Even though he knew she had every right to say it, it still didn't keep his heart from the hurt it inflicted.

"I'm sorry. You don't have to forgive me. I just wanted to tell you the truth. If nothing else, I could give you that. I know it doesn't make up for anything, and I don't expect it to. I'm not sure why you came to find me after I pretty much abandoned you, but you deserved happiness and I obviously have given you anything but happiness. You deserve better. " He couldn't look at her anymore, for fear of what he would see. The hurt that would be in her eyes would be enough to want him to die. He stood, making to leave and she reached out to take his hand in hers in a way that almost felt like a caress.

Chihiro smiled warmly, tears threatening in her eyes. "But I do forgive you, Haku. I forgive you because I love you. Yes, that you never came hurt me so very much, but I… I'd like to get to know you again, if that's okay. I want to try to move on from the pain and just be happy… together, with you."

Haku beamed, a watery smile gracing his face that mirrored her own.

"I… I'd like that. I'd like that very much."

* * *

Author's Note:

And there you have it, folks! Here at last is the happy ending that we all wanted for these two (and probably also ourselves). Hope to get lots of feedback on this, since I did a lot of research into various things to write what I hope was another authentic feeling story. Let me know what you liked, what you didn't like, etc. so I can continue to grow as a writer. I did this in two shots, so if you catch any typos, please let me know and I'll fix it ASAP.

Thank you again, and I hope you enjoyed it. Please see below for footnotes explaining a few things quoted in the story above.

* * *

Footnotes:

i Koi in dreams are also said to symbolize patience, perseverance, determination, ambition, tenacity, courage and success, all of which Chihiro has been exemplifying her whole life in spades. Perhaps this is why the Koi Spirit chose to help her.

ii The Statue of Ebisu, one of Japan's Seven Lucky Gods, and is also known as Kotoshironushi. He is the God of Good Fortune, the Ocean and Fishing Folk, the deity of Honest Labor and Patron of Laborers. He is also known as the God of Fair Dealing.

iii Also called a wishing fan, this was used to denote favored requests by nobility.


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